If I Didn’t Ask for Your Opinion, You Have No Right to Criticize

There are some people in this world who live like criticizing is swimming to a shark; they have to criticize constantly or they die. The worst part is that they think they’re being helpful, instead of what they really are: hateful and awful. Here’s my rule in these situations: If I didn’t ask for your opinion, you don’t have a right to say anything negative. If I ask “Hey, how do you like my hair today?” you are more than welcome to tell me the truth (kindly of course): “I liked it better with the part on the other side.” That’s fine, and thanks for letting me know. If I don’t ask, though, and you say “Aren’t you going to brush your hair?” you’re an a-hole and have no idea how curly hair works.

So, if you find yourself just itching to tell someone that you don’t think their top goes with those shoes or that painting should go on the other wall, nobody gives a shit. Shut the fuck up. RuPaul says it well (always listen to RuPaul) “What other people think of me is none of my business.” That’s nice to keep in mind when confronted with a hateful a-hole, but someone also needs to tell these a-holes to abide by the rules.

A special note to any man who has ever made any comment to a random woman in a public space, please shut the fuck up forever. As all women know in our bones (#yesallwoman), the second a random man feels entitled to comment on our looks, bodies, outfits, whatever, we are already in danger. It’s just a quick hop from micro-aggression to actual aggression, and don’t make us guess which one it will be.


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