Don’t Give Me a Gift on the Second Date (If You Give Me a Gift, Don’t Ask for it Back; I’m Keeping it for Spite)


A few years ago, I went on a couple dates with a guy I had no things in common with, but he was really good looking, so some bad decisions were made. On our first date, we talked about some nerdy things, which made me think that this wasn’t a totally terrible waste of time. He was super into Dungeons and Dragons. While I’ve never played, I’ve always found the concept interesting and potentially up my alley, with the fantasy and board game aspects. I’d be up for trying it out.

We went on a second date, which I was already dreading because of some incredibly needy texting after the first date where he asked me if I liked his outfit and what kind of clothing I like men to wear (I like men who don’t need me to fucking dress them-a future post perhaps because this has come up more often than one would expect). On this date, he gave me a gift, which I thought was sweet if a little soon and somewhat misguided. This gift was a Dungeons and Dragons book, which I was supposed to read before I was allowed to play a game with him. Okay, I guess I’ll give him a few points for calling back to an earlier conversation we had, but like don’t make me do homework in order to date you. A good way to get someone into a game is to have them just play the fucking game. Needless to say, this date was our last.

Maybe six months later, I got a text from him asking for the book back. He told me the price and said that he had another person interested in joining his D&D group. Um no. No No No No NO. Things that are not my problem. I’m keeping it for spite and to teach him a lesson that you don’t go around giving weirdo gifts to people you barely know, and you definitely, definitely don’t ask for them back!



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